With great risk, comes great reward.

Helllllo,

So as of late I haven't been the best blogger. I have kind of been in a whirl of strange emotions and mixed feelings. I guess you could say that I've been in a funk.
Blah. A funk for the past freakin year.
I've felt off and upset. I blame it on all of life's obstacles and the ups and downs of the past.
I used to be this happy, poppy and sometimes a little over excited about life, person. Nothing got me down and nothing got in my way to being the best me that I could be.
But then, of course, my world got rocked, and it got rocked on sooo many different levels. As John Lennon once said: "Life happens when you're busy making other plans". Oh, how wise he was. However, even though things have calmed down I find myself wondering why the negative feelings are still lingering? Why is my past still dragging along behind me?
There's always the possibility that it's because I still have something to learn from it but my gut says that I am the one who is holding on to it.
I've come to the realization that if I let go I will be this new person. Someone that I'm not really familiar with.
I'll be different and changed. I'll lose my baggage.
And that's kind of scary.

BUT. With that, I will also gain peace of mind knowing how strong I have become.
So, I am choosing to forget about what the old me would have done. I want to stop focusing so much on fixing what's already happened.
It's called the past for a reason, right?
I am going to stop moping and encourage myself to find the positive in the negative.
I am going to stop trying to control all of the things in my present. Because in all reality I can't control my job, or if my family is struggling, I can't control what my sister thinks of me, or if my friends move. I can't control if my boyfriend wants the same future as I do or when the heck I will be able to move back out on my own. I can't control any of those and so much more.
I am going to find peace in letting that control go.
I am going to stop worrying and stressing about the things that probably won't matter in 5 years.
I have decided that I am going to stop giving the past so much power and hold my head high to my future.
I am going to be happy because I choose to make it happen.